Similar to how Instagram does not always reflect reality, home projects are not always as effortless as they appear. We recently swapped out all of our doorknobs for new ones in our house. It was a relatively easy project that ended up taking up way more time than anticipated. Because of my real estate background, I frequently get asked about whether I love house-flipping shows. The answer is that I don’t often watch them, and the reason is that I think they can make flipping or renovating a house look too painless and trouble-free. The truth is that I’ve found that both straightforward and complex projects rarely stick to the original plan.
These reality stars get houses for a steal, make major renovations with seemingly few major issues, obtain permits no problem, stay below budget, and manage to get the work done in no time at all with an all-star contractor crew. While there are exceptions, that usually isn’t real life. In reality, items arrive damaged, projects end up costing way more than expected, contractors arrive late or not at all, you don’t buy or sell for the price that you wanted, wrong parts are ordered, and timelines get pushed back continuously.
I’m not writing this post to pop your home-improvement-show bubble; I’m writing it for the same reason that people compare photos taken with different lighting or angles. It’s to show that things are not always what or as easy as they appear. As I write more posts featuring home “before” and “after” photos, I thought that it was important to remind people that between “beginning” and “end” photos often lie frustrations, mistakes, creativity, and problem solving. On the journey to an end goal, there are always some monkey wrenches thrown your way.
Okay, back to the doorknobs. Ordering all of these doorknobs turned out to be a huge headache. We apparently have an endless amount of doors in our older home, and I needed to order deadbolts, knobs with privacy locks, knobs with key locks, dummy knobs, and closet knobs. I also had to order different styles and colors depending on whether it was a keyed lock, deadbolt, or privacy lock. I spent hours searching for knobs that would work for what we needed and were the style that I wanted. I counted, miscounted, and recounted probably three times. I ended up having to make multiple orders after I realized that I needed a different knob type than I anticipated for a couple of the doors. All in all, I believe I ordered six styles of knobs, from two different lock brands, two online sites, and had four separate orders shipped to me.
This is when I had the real ugh-head-palm moment though. When we were installing the knobs on Sunday, my husband and father-in-law asked if the deadbolts and the keyed lock knobs were the same key numbers (i.e., would the same set of keys work for all of them). This, my friends, is the moment that I realized that with my online ordering, I didn’t think about whether all of the keyed locks would have the same key type and number. I already thought that the task of ordering all of the doorknobs was a pain in the ass, and now I had a bigger, even dumber how-could-I-not-think-of-that moment midway through the installation. As Charlie Brown would say, “Good grief.”
We had a brainstorming session and decided that we would still install all of the locks, live with a school-janitor amount of keys for a while, and then have the locks rekeyed to match. Like the examples I mentioned above, this “simple” project wasn’t that at all, included lots of mistakes (made by yours truly), took extra time, needed items returned and reordered, and included additional costs.
With any kind of project, when things go awry, sometimes all you can do is laugh. I felt like an idiot, but then I thought, “Oh well, what can you do? We’ll figure it out.” Since we are still waiting on the locksmith, we had to create a system to keep track of eight sets of keys (lots of doors). It’s absolutely ridiculous and my husband and I both cracked up about it. I was feeling exasperated and foolish as I sorted through all of the keys. My husband then joked, “Hey, this is your dream. When else are you going to get a better opportunity to use your label maker?” Since I have some Monica-from-Friends tendencies, I proceeded to make lots of abbreviated key labels to manage our temporary key pile.
I’m sharing this story because projects don’t go as planned, you will and do make errors, and there are moments of frustration, but also moments of comedic relief. Maybe you mess up a doorknob order, but then you get the sweet satisfaction of using your label maker ;). The new knobs look amazing, and it was absolutely worth it to replace our old ones. In the end, we will have our wonderful “before” and “after” photos and the assumption that this was a straightforward, easy-peasy project.
What people won’t know is that there was a period of time that our key-filled pockets could add the musical accompaniment to a Christmas song. The next time a project doesn’t go to plan, give yourself a break. We’ve all been there. If all else fails, go grab the trusty label maker. Or make a batch of margaritas (this was also done). Or see if key jingling can become the new sleigh bell sound in “God Only Knows” by The Beach Boys. As long as you remember to laugh and accept that nothing ever goes to plan, you’ll be fine. I mean, if Charlie Brown can keep keeping on after countless “Good griefs,” the rest of us have nothing to worry about.
*Originally posted 10/20/2020*
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