My favorite season is and always has been summer. I love throwing on a pair of denim shorts and a tank top, slipping my feet into sandals, and grabbing a hat on my way out the door. I enjoy the simple pleasures of sitting at the beach with a good book or sipping a cold beverage on my front porch. However, there is something that I really don’t like about this time of year and the months leading up to it. Once spring hits, so does the bombardment of messages about getting yourself Bikini Ready. We go from flannels, sweaters, and jeans to BOOM bikini time. Shopping emails start rolling out, people dust off their skirts and dresses, and, inevitably, the chatter about having a bikini-ready body in time for summer begins. I’m not just talking about the media here (although that is a big offender), I’m talking about brands, social media, family, and friends too.
Scrolling through social media, I see bikini body workout programs, people lamenting that they need to lose the Covid-19 (pounds), ways to tone up for travel or events, and diet teas and secrets that “really work!” in order to change your body to make it Summer Ready. The worst part is that it’s hard to ignore all of this noise and imagery. I know I’m guilty of this type of thinking. I’ve thought about how I need to be more in shape or if I can wear a certain style of swimsuit (i.e. Is it flattering? Will I look fat? Does it show too much boob? Am I too bloated to wear this right now? And on and on). This type of thinking creeps in, and I’m even fairly comfortable in a swimsuit – I play a sport (beach volleyball) where a bikini is the go-to attire. Luckily for you all, since I have spent years of my life in a swimsuit, I have created Betsy’s Bikini Babe Bonus. It is guaranteed to get you So Ready to Rock a Bikini & Live Your Best Summer Ever!
I know that you all are on the edge of your seats for this killer insider information. It’s very simple, really, Step 1 is that you just sell your soul to the Devil live your life. It turns out that if you are breathing right now, you have made it to summer. Therefore, you are, Summer Ready. You can enjoy summer right this second just the way you are! You don’t have to become a different person, starve yourself, over-exercise, or purchase worthless, aggressively advertised tips and tricks. It’s strange, but you can go to the beach and no one will stop you to check if you have reached the fictional Perfect Beach Body level. Go figure, right?
But wait…there’s more! Step 2 is to put on an outfit that you can get wet, which is made for places like a pool or beach. If you can don this magical fabric, you are already Swimsuit Ready. By changing into something with waterproof capabilities, you have already crushed being a Bikini Babe! That’s all it takes – changing your clothing, not who you are. You don’t need to look like a Baywatch actress to go to the beach. In fact, if you slow-motion run back and forth in the sand, people will probably think that you are super bizarre. Even weirder, is the fact that being in a swimsuit requires no commentary from yourself or others – it’s not necessary to berate your body or let others’ insecurity negatively influence your body image.
I’m even willing to share how you can have the Greatest Summer of All Time (you lucky ducks). It starts by not sitting there and constantly worrying about how you look and if people are criticizing you (they aren’t). It doesn’t involve thinking about how you didn’t exercise enough or how you (gasp) ate a meal before going to the pool. The truth is that people don’t care. You can agonize over details about yourself that no one will ever notice. Why spend the time that you are supposed to be relaxing mentally beating yourself up?
We’ve all been there (myself included), but the older I get, the more that I realize that I can turn down the noise. I can stop letting people/media/companies tell me all of the ways that I don’t have the Perfect Summer Body, and I can focus on simply being present for this season. What a crazy concept, right? I don’t care if I don’t have the ideal bikini body (Hot take: it doesn’t exist, and even if someone had it, they probably wouldn’t realize it). What I do have is a body and (too many) bikinis. In a crazy twist of fate, it turns out that those are the only prerequisites that you need. Thus, by following the logic of Betsy’s Bikini Babe Bonus (obviously trending #1 on the fitness best-sellers list), I am 100% set to complete Step 3: enjoy summer. See all you babes and your Already Perfect Summer Bods at the beach.
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