Mother’s Day is quickly approaching (friendly reminder to all of you that still need to buy gifts or mail cards) – the moms of the world hopefully won’t have to remind you to celebrate them. They will probably advise you to bring a sweater because, at any given moment, it could get colder, and they have the mom-Jedi-magic ability to detect any slight breeze. In all seriousness, I think mothers deserve a whole month of celebration, or at least more paid time off (looking at you, America). I think the moms who have survived living with young children during this pandemic deserve a standing ovation and an auto-renewing massage membership.
I caught up with some of my friends with children during the pandemic. One woman had her kind, loving husband offer to go to the grocery store for her. While suggested as a warm gesture, my friend remarked that grocery store time was her time – she needed that time to get out of the house. The other moms enthusiastically agreed and empathized. It turns out that a lot of moms out there are having their “breaks” picking out cereal and pushing shopping carts around. We all laughed about this, and I pictured some of my friends using their seemingly stolen moments to tip their hat to the Quaker Oats man or check in with Toucan Sam. I imagined moms zoning out in brightly lit aisles trying to keep it all together.
The truth is that I don’t know how a lot of my friends do it. I know so many badass women working full-time from home, taking care of small children, managing their own businesses, carving out time to spend with their significant others, and also remembering to give the family pet some love too. Most days, I feel like I run out of hours in the day, so I have no clue how these women juggle everything. I believe the general message I’ve received from my friends with families during Covid is one of just trying to stay afloat. Simply attempting to be a patient mom and wife, figure out healthy meals, take on the new role of teacher, and, you know, survive having everyone stuck under one roof for months on end.
Basically, what I’m getting at, is that this year moms should be extra spoiled. This is coming from someone with no skin in the game, so I’m not even biased. Moms have worked overtime this year (on top of the standard perpetual overtime). A lot of women have had to leave the workforce to adapt to the changes of this past year. They have shifted, sacrificed, and (I’m guessing) bent to the point of almost breaking. They have needed grocery store runs to feel at least somewhat normal and to keep their sanity.
I joked with my friends that the next time that I was at the grocery store and saw a mom-zombie zoning out at the granola options, I would encourage her. I would assure her that in this crazy-upside-down time in the world, she was a freaking superhero. She was an amazing mom and she was killing it – even if she didn’t always see it that way.
Here’s the thing though…I don’t go to the grocery store all the time, and I wouldn’t have enough hours in the day to cheer on all of the sleep deprived, kickass moms of the world. Instead, I’ve decided to write this love letter. To all the moms who are worried that they aren’t doing enough, the mothers that are worried that they are failing, the moms that may feel guilty because they need to get the hell out of the house – your families are lucky to have you. In a time where most people have wanted to run from this bizarre year like they would a house fire, you are doing your best to hold down the fort. (I’m also guessing you’ve made a lot of actual forts this year being at home so much).
Let’s give moms extra doses of love this year. They’ve had to answer a bajillion questions over and over again, some have had to learn the new method of long division (my friend who’s a teacher has tried to explain it to me and it hurts my brain), and I would guess that most have had to lock themselves in a room to try and get a moment of peace. Please don’t get them the same fluffy robe for the fifth year in a row (unless they request it) and don’t make them plan their own Mother’s Day. However, if they need to do an “emergency” grocery store run, don’t fight it. They may need a couple of moments with Tony the Tiger and that is totally acceptable because it’s their day and “They’re gr-r-reat!” And don’t you forget it.
Happy (early) Mother’s Day. To my own mom, I am biased about this, and I think you’re the best. Now that movie theaters are reopening, I promise that I’ll bring a sweater. See, no matter what age you are, you still always need your mom.
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