I’ve been thinking lately how the home space has significantly shifted for most people (myself included). Our homes went from places of sanctuary or relaxation to makeshift home gyms, offices, classrooms, daycares, and vacation spots. A lot of people typically have a clear separation from home, work, and school spaces, but the lines that usually exist between these have recently become blurred. At my house, my living room is my new workout spot, our porch is my husband’s gym, our dining room table is a game-set-up spot, and a back bedroom is now a Peloton and new-home-office spot for my husband. While we are very fortunate to have these options, our home is more chaotic these days.
The other week, I was in the midst of writing and my husband was hammering away at his desk chair trying to fix it. Or I’m blending a smoothie and he’s in the middle of trying to record something for work. Sometimes I’m trying to work out when he may want to read and relax in our living room. Basically, what I’m trying to say, is that the home space has been upended, and it’s a constant combination now of relaxation-work-cooking-fitness-intimacy-alone-time craziness. We don’t have kids, so I can only imagine what a lot of my friends are going through with the addition of schooling and child care around the clock – I know that is not easy.
With all of this, I’ve found that it can be hard to find balance. A lot of people I’ve talked to are working more than ever (same) and I think that it’s because there isn’t a clear work/home boundary now. We’re all at home, so if someone sends you an email, why haven’t you responded right away? We’re not traveling, so why can’t you do that Zoom meeting now? That text was sent two hours ago – what could you be doing to keep you from answering? Weekends aren’t that different than weekdays now, so there is the temptation to just keep chugging along. There’s the, “Well, we don’t have much else going on, so maybe I’ll just get this done” mentality which isn’t the healthiest and can very easily lead to overworking. I’m for sure guilty of losing sight of when the work day should start and end.
If you’re a family or a couple, there’s also the reality that now you are together all the time. But as explained above, the everyday boundaries may be cloudier now. We may be spending more time together than ever, but is that always quality time? Date nights seem a little different when you get to wear pajamas and don’t have to leave your couch, right? We may all be in the same space, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that the time shared is time spent fully connecting.
I’ve been trying to figure out the new work/life/home boundaries for myself. If someone texts me at 8 am on a Saturday morning, I don’t need to respond right away. If I get a 5 pm email, I can wait until the next morning to write back. I’ve realized that just because I can respond doesn’t mean I need to. Just because we live in a world of instant communication and 24/7 emailing, doesn’t mean that we always have to comply. I also want to establish a nightly phone-shut-off time for myself as well, so that I’m not scrolling through social media or seeing a stressful email right before I’m going to sleep.
I’m trying to also reinstate more date nights to break up/add some fun plans to the week. Maybe we decide to pick up to-go cocktails one night, take a sunset beach walk, order in food from a favorite restaurant we haven’t had in a while, or have a set time that we head to the hot tub at night. I’ve realized that we don’t need to have major plans, but having something that mixes up the daily routine, gets us out of the house, and establishes time spent truly connecting together is refreshing and necessary for our sanity and life balance.
I’m also trying to mix up my workouts. On days that I’m inside a lot, I try to get outside for a walk or hike. I find that if I’m working and working out all at home, the walls start to cave in after a while, and I need to get outside to clear my headspace and get some fresh air. Since I used to go to a gym frequently, it’s also nice to plan to go somewhere. I also love taking walks as I can use that time to connect and catch up with friends, and I think we all need that time to connect more than ever.
Have you noticed your home/life/work boundaries starting to blur? What steps are you taking to maintain some sort of separation? There is no guidebook for this COVID-19 time, and we are all figuring it out little by little – especially since most of us didn’t think we would be staying at home for this long. Hopefully we all can remember to create boundaries instead of blurriness and to add more harmony to our lives in this often inharmonious time.
*Originally posted 8/11/2020*
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