I wasn’t planning on writing about this today, but this morning I woke up and felt compelled to take fingers to keyboard to try to reflect on the events of Monday afternoon. Another shooting. Another shooting in Colorado. A shooting at a grocery store in my idyllic college town of Boulder. My heart feels heavy and I want to simultaneously weep and yell. I feel the sadly familiar weight of grief and the sinking feeling of when will this ever end. There’s one quote from an article that I read on Monday that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about.
On Monday afternoon, a man went into a King Soopers grocery store and started shooting. He claimed ten lives and created pandemonium within the store. There are moving stories of people hiding others, of going back into the store to help others escape, and of doing their best in an indescribably awful situation. The quote that has remained tattooed on my brain is one from a man that was inside the meat section of the grocery store during the shooting. James Bentz said, “It seemed like all of us had imagined we’d be in a situation like this at some point in our lives.”
That’s our reality. I felt such deep sorrow when I read those words. The sense of defeat and disappointment seemed to hang over me like a cloud. The truth is, I agreed with that statement. I was living in Denver when the Aurora movie theater shooting happened. I remember every time that I went to a movie theater after that I made sure to check where the exits were. I noticed if someone entered the theater late or before the movie ended. The thought of what would I do if someone opened fire during this movie? was present in the back of my mind.
Here’s the thing that enrages me; Instead of fearing our public surroundings, instead of preparing teachers for an armed intruder, instead of now looking over our shoulders when we grocery shop, why don’t we actually do something about it. Why does it seem like we are stuck in quicksand when it comes to trying to make safer laws around guns a reality?
Listen, I am not against guns. I’ve been hunting, and I have extended family and friends that hunt. I actually have a lot of respect for people who can kill and dress an animal and for those who use guns responsibly. I know plenty of people who own guns. You want to keep a gun in your home for protection? I’m not against that either. This isn’t a crazed call to lock all the guns away. This is a conversation to admit that maybe we don’t need all people to have access to military-grade weapons. The mass shooter purchased a Ruger AR-556 pistol which is “made for the military and short-range combat” according to this article. Maybe someone should have to wait longer than six days to get a gun? Is this an outrageous thought? I don’t think so. Let’s also not forget that this comes on the heels of the very recent shooting of eight people (including six women of Asian descent) in Atlanta.
I’m sick of the many platitudes that are offered when an event like this occurs. I think we all are. If these were doing anything, we, like James Bentz, wouldn’t expect to some day be in a situation where we are hiding from a mass shooter. We wouldn’t think about exit strategies, or feel uneasy about going certain places, or wonder if our loved ones won’t come home one day over something that we could actually try and prevent. Until we have real change, I guess we’ll just keep on hoping that we, or our family and friends, won’t be next. Which feels both appalling and despairing to admit.
I’m tired, I’m sick to my stomach over this loss of life, and I’m furious that the quicksand appears to be winning. If this infuriates you or breaks your heart, I would invite you to take action. I’ve offered you my thoughts, and thoughts and prayers are great, but action is what we really need.
Here are some resources if you want to get involved: Giffords, Everytown, Moms Demand Action
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