Simone Biles’ decision to withdraw from certain gymnastic events at the Tokyo Olympics sent the internet into a tizzy. Why did Simone Biles, the greatest gymnast of all time, shock so many people? Because she decided to honor her mental health. I’ve read the critiques and criticisms about Biles’ decision, and while I can understand some points, at the end of the day, I think Biles did what was true to and necessary for herself. This isn’t someone who has shied away from immense pressure, injuries, trauma, and haters in the past, so to do so recently, I truly believe that Biles made a vital decision to honor herself and her mental wellbeing. When Biles withdrew, Google searches about mental health reached the highest they had in two months. Whether she intended to or not, Biles opened the floodgates on the topic of mental health, which I believe has been extremely valuable for us all.
I’m discussing Biles because her outspokenness about mental wellness has made me take note of my own mental health. Obviously, I’m not an Olympic athlete, so I’m not comparing myself to Biles, but we all have habits and stresses that impact our mental health daily. We all have days that our mental state is better than others, and we all could benefit from pondering what external factors are helping or hurting us.
For me, I have a love/hate relationship with my phone and social media. There are days that I wish no one would be able to contact me, and then there are the moments where I panic because I’ve misplaced my phone. I enjoy connecting with people through this blog and my social channels, but I also feel uninspired and defeated at times too. While I love creating and sharing new videos, photos, and writing, I realized that I was becoming too attached to the reactions (positive or indifferent) from my audience.
For example, maybe I work on a video for hours and I think it’s amazing. I post it, and it doesn’t get as many views as I’m anticipating, or maybe it doesn’t get as many likes and comments as previous posts/videos. Or, on the flip side, maybe a post unexpectedly receives a ton of engagement. Some blog posts are very successful and some fall flat. The engagement peaks and valleys usually make me shrug my shoulders and curse the Instagram algorithm, but lately I noticed that my mental state was being impacted too.
If a photo received a ton of likes, I would be delighted. It would give me a rush of dopamine and make me feel terrific. If something I posted flopped, it made me feel discouraged and insecure – like I didn’t do enough, should have been more creative, or that people just didn’t care. Listen, I’m not talking about being in a deep depression, but I’m sharing that I could see how this was starting to chip away at my mental health little by little. Social media can be a fickle friend, and I think that if we’re honest, it can be a place that can simultaneously make us feel high and low (I know that’s the case for me).
I decided to do an experiment to honor my mental health (shout out to Biles). Instagram has a feature where you can hide your “like total” on your photos. Instead of a photo stating that it has “143 likes,” it will show that it’s been liked by several accounts “and others.” As the owner of the account, you can still view your total likes but other people cannot. I feared that by turning on this feature, I would possibly discourage people from liking my photos, and that it might result in my engagement declining. I was nervous about this, but I had to make the decision between what was more important: my mental health or my social media stats.
I am proud to say that I chose to honor my mental health. Instead of having my mood influenced and agonizing or celebrating over how little or much engagement a post has, I can focus that time and energy elsewhere. I don’t have to prove to someone else that a photo accumulated more likes than theirs did, and I don’t have to be reminded of when my like count pales in comparison to others.
I’ve observed that this simple decision has made me feel better. I don’t know if I’ll always implement it, and maybe I’ll revert back to an approximate like count at some point, but for now, I’m enjoying living in the unknown. I’m appreciating not being disappointed or impressed by a certain number, and I’m okay with not continually ranking myself against others. I’m also fine with keeping some information private on my otherwise very public account. As Biles proved, it’s okay (and encouraged) to make decisions for ourselves in order to respect our mental well-being. At the end of the day, a picture is still worth a thousand words even if it doesn’t receive a thousand likes, right?
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